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- Not getting along with people:
If you are always feuding with others it is a sure indication that you are not getting along with yourself either. You may be projecting the blame on other people, or trying to change other people instead of yourself! Also, you may be over sensitive. When you learn to radiate tolerance, understanding and forgiveness, you will be amazed at how quickly other people’s attitudes toward you will change.
- Too shy.
Excessive shyness is a liability. The shy person is afraid he will not be well received and accepted. Shyness is a form of self-protection. A shy person becomes uncommunicative and cannot relax around other people. Many shy people have handicaps. A stutterer is shy. Self-confidence is the antidote to shyness.
- Sarcastic.
Sarcasm represents over compensation for feeling of insecurity. If you are sarcastic, you are over defensive. You are afraid of being insulted, rejected or disliked by someone, so you beat them to the punch. If you are sarcastic, you are acting out of insecurity: build up your own self-image.
- Critical.
You are overly critical if you are stingy with your compliments, or are afraid to approve of something, or to say something nice about someone’s achievements. You may have a tendency toward perfectionism. You are unable to tolerate anyone else doing a thing less perfectly than yourself.
- Distorted sense of values.
Your emphasis is placed on material things. You are more concerned about being considered successful financially than successful in character. You feel unhappy, cheated by life or as if something is missing; it is a good indication that you need to begin to develop an appreciation for things of the mind. An example of distorted values: being obsessed with becoming more beautiful or staying young. Beauty, when it becomes the end-all of life to the exclusion of improvement of the mind and spirit, leaves the person miserable in spite of beauty.
- Inferiority complex.
To have an inferiority complex is understandable, but to remain inferior is unforgivable and needless. This is one of the easiest conditions to change through self-hypnosis and auto-suggestion. Study something that makes you an expert. Gain confidence by doing. Learn to take pride in what you do.
- Adrift without goals.
The saddest people in the world are those who have no goals. They constantly ask: “What’s life for?” There must be a goal – a realistic goal that can be obtained. Write down the goals that would mean the most to you: make a list. Start now: not tomorrow!
- Over-sensitive.
No one should disagree with you. No one has the right to be careless of your feelings: you are vain. Even a rose comes to you with thorns on it. So does life, full of thorns. You cannot say the rose is no good, or life is no good because of the thorns. Tell yourself that people are going to be careless of your feelings whether intentionally or unintentionally. Desensitize yourself and promise yourself that no one can demoralize you or make you lose confidence in yourself.
- Conceited.
Then you are covering up an inferiority complex. Great people are humble and modest. Conceited people lose friends rapidly: they make themselves obnoxious pointing out subtly or bluntly how much better they are than other people. They display all kinds of prejudices to show how superior they are.
- Immature.
The immature person has the traits of a child who has not learned to control his or her desires, emotions and thinking. The individual is selfish, lacks emotional control and wise judgment. He wants everything his way.
Being mature means being wise, acting with wisdom, exercising self-control, thinking things through without too much emotion. It means showing tolerance and understanding – knowing how the other person feels and explaining why you are taking that position.
- Chronic complainer.
The chronic complainer is sabotaging both his physical and his mental health. He becomes a hypochondriac. Everyone is against him; the world has singled him out for all its bad luck. He will find justification for each complaint. No one understands him; no one is on his side. He is unhappy. He will overlook a multitude of good things to find one flaw. This is not to say there are no situations in life when it is necessary to offer constructive suggestions. One must distinguish between normal complaining that is reasonable, and neurotic, excessive and unreasonable complaining for the sake of complaining.
- Spendthrift or stingy.
Then you are suffering from insecurity. Persons who are frustrated, who have not found love, may be reckless with money. They handle money like they handle their emotions. Borrowers of money want something from other people. They want others to support them. They don’t want to assume the responsibility of earning their own way. They like to involve other people in their problems which is a substitute for their search for love.
Persons who are over generous to a fault may be inspired by a desire to buy the love of others. They want to be well thought of. They want everyone indebted to them in an effort to keep their friendship.
The person who cannot give anything to anyone, who is called a skinflint by those who know him, cannot give anything else of value either, especially love. He cannot get over the hurt he has suffered, generally in childhood, of not receiving enough love himself. Now he is bitter and will not give love, or material things.
- Strong prejudices.
What conceited people are, applies to persons who are prejudiced: an evidence of their own insecurity. They have a false sense of superiority by believing they are better than others. Prejudice is also a cover up for fear and jealousy. One becomes prejudiced against people he fears, people whom he believes may threaten his own sense of security. Prejudice leads to hatred and causes a person to become emotionally disturbed, to become the victim of hate, much more that the thing hated. Prejudice is the product of false thinking. You can have likes and dislikes without making blanket prejudices that are unreasonable and only hurt yourself.
- Worrying.
Excess worrying is a habit that is learned. The worry habit can be de-conditioned. Develop a feeling of emotional self-confidence, a belief in yourself.
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